ThankThisHouse

Oh Yeah, new blog created! My family's journey with a fixer-upper. Watch the progress and lack thereof!

My Vision Quest

I am starting a new project and I am on day 3. I have worn glasses for over 30 years, since I was 2 maybe(I will have to fact check with my mom and get back on this for you ). I think my prescription is around -8 or -9 Like most people who have glasses or contacts, some days I dont't even notice that I am using them but on other days I hate them and feel that they are such a burden. Off and on I have thought about healing my sight, especially the past 2 or 3 years. Before that it was merely wishful thinking, cursing my "genetic luck".
So I just started googling natural vision healing and came across the Bates Method. I ordered somebooks from Amazon but they haven't come yet. In the meatime I am going "naked" as much as I can. I haven't put my contacts in since I made this decision and have had my glasses mostly on top of my head. I believe all ilness and disease originates in our own thoughts and therefore we have the power to heal ourselves.
Mythoughts are super scattered right now because I have had so many new experiences the [ast few days and I am worried that I will for get one of these important keys to healing. Ah that is a key right there. I think mostly my eyesight is not at its best because of fear. Fear that because I can't see the future clearly that it must be something to be scared of, something not to trust. That somehow the world is out to get me. Trust, Trust, Trust.
Already I am interacting with the world differently. I went for a walk downtown last night without any sight aids. It was only a mile and a half but it was a profound experence for me. I was relying on all my other senses so much more. I told Keith I felt like I was on a smell walk. Just like when seeing you are always seeing something without a beginnning or end, just a constant flow of sights I had a constant flow of smells. From the salt air, to nag champa incense to skunk (!) to beef to men's cologne. I could feel the wind on my body and even the way I carried myself was different. My posture was so much better! I was steady on my feet, I stepped on some slippery mud once but because I wasn't tense about it I just flowed with it and didn't lose my balance at all. If I had known it was there I would have been all worried about slipping on it.
At one point I saw what I thought was a large group of people on a quiet side street. I immediately jumped to horrible and irrational and silly conclusions. Fear, fear, fear. Then I thought it was just an empty boat trailer, as I got closer I found it was nothing really and beyond it just a stop sign. It was then that I realized I had a fear of the future because I couldn't see clearly how the future was going to play out. Amazing!
As my vision gets clearer I am hoping my thoughts will too or maybe as my thoughts get clearer my vision will follow.

The carving of time

At the request of my lovely friend Zena, living thousands of miles (and km) away, I am posting to my blog and setting the intention to do so much more often.

So a few months ago I began wondering how moms get any time to themselves. We are not planning on sending our kids to school so this is not an issue of just wait until they hop on that school bus for me. I started thinking back to my mom, always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, dressed and ready for the day when the four of us kids would come charging down the stairs wanting breakfast (which was always ready) before heading out the door at barely past 7am.
"Holy Crap" I thought "she must have gotten up at like 5am every morning for 35 years." At first, I have to be honest, a little bit of dread and resentment welled up in me as I realized what I must do. But I thought that I would give it a try. So initially - complete failure! I would immediately turn off my 5am alarm as soon as I heard it and wake up pissed off at myself for not getting my ass out of bed on time. This went on for a little bit.
Then I had the brilliant idea of tryng 5:15am. So what if I am only playing a trick on myself, 5am really IS too close to the 4am hour. 5:15 apparently is not because Oh that 15 minutes has made all the difference!
So for the past few months I have (mostly) been able to get up early, at least before the kids and make coffee and hop on the computer (ok, it's mainly for facebook.) I get to shower and get dressed without a cute baby ripping my closet to shreds while I scramble to get clothes on. I see Keith for a few minutes before he leaves for work and I ...drumroll please......get some of that elusive "me-time." So I guess sometimes the examples our parents set for us work out pretty well. Thanks Mom, I love you. Hope you had a great birthday!

Mind my own business

I don't tell you how to live your life, Mom. - Iris

Ouch, why does she always have to be right??? 

Boden talks about Santa

Santa's a sneaky guy.

A long, long time ago

"One day a long, long time ago...this house was clean."

Boden 3

I wonder when that day was? Actually we do manage to clean up at least somewhat everyday but my 7:30am each day it's back to this:)

3 Big Lessons

I was thinking today how much I am my children's student. They teach me so much. Everyday without fail I examine my own thoughts and feelings because of them. It's really amazing how little I knew about myself before they came along.

Iris has given me a new found appreciation for what it means to be a female and to totally, 100% embrace that. As a women's studies major in college, the focus of my classes was often on how women were made to be subservient or weak. Or at least that was my take on it at the time. Now I am just appreciating the differences between the sexes. And wearing more dresses.

Boden has taught me so much about patience, gentleness and acceptance. He has the strongest will and conventional parenting techniques- might makes right-do not work with him. Not only does he not do what you want him to do, but his spirit is so hurt by that way of acting. He is the one who helps me get over worrying about what other people think and the one who reminds me to be kind, even when a dinosaur is being thrown at my head.

And Gus. Oh what a happy, happy person. He just wants to be happy (really don't we all) and he is. I am learning so much about myself from his physical issues, that don't seem to bother him one bit. The underlying thoughts of mine that caused those physical issues in utero were the same thoughts that plagued generations back in my family and showed up in me as well. I am realizing things that I probably never would have even thought about if he hadn't given me this opportunity to put my limiting beliefs under this microscope.

I feel like all my children have given me these wonderful opportunities to stretch as a person and I am so very thankful for them.